Setting Emotional and Physical Boundaries to Relieve Work Stress at Home

The mind and body cannot handle being under constant stress. 

If you are constantly thinking about stressful things in the office, even when you are home, you won't be able to relax and enjoy the time you have with your friends or family.

Continue reading to learn some important boundaries that will help you stop the endless stress

cycle.

The Result of Constantly Holding on to Work Stress

Many years ago I was working as a CNA at a retirement home in eastern Colorado. I worked

the swing shift and was on the heavy lifting half of the unit. 

The other CNAs would often call off sick or for some other reason and sometimes some of them just didn’t show up. 

That left the few of us to take care of four halls of residents, many of whom were very heavy and/or combative. 

The nine months that I worked there were highly stressful and the impact on my health was such that I lost a great deal of weight, hair, and sleep.

More than that though, I wasn’t relating well to others in my family or church because all that I could think of was how to get through the next shift without dying. 

I truly felt like I was in a war and to look at me you would have thought so too. 

I didn’t know how to deal with the stress that I was under at that time so it was dealing with me in a very deadly way.

Both before and after that time I have had various jobs with varying amounts of stress and I usually dealt with it by comfort food and escaping into a movie or novel. 

Those methods of coping didn’t last long and they had some detrimental side effects. 

Since then I’ve learned a number of better strategies for handling work stress and making sure that it stays at work and not come home. 

Here are a few of them.

Make definite mental and emotional boundaries that keep your work life and all that troubles you

with it corralled and left where you found it each day.

No one should be stressing about their job every single hour of the day.

Some jobs are very stressful and cannot be made easier. 

That doesn’t mean the stress from work needs to plague you while you are at home with your family or out with friends.

Mental Barriers

Stress begins in the mind.

Because of this, mental barriers are a vital part of de-stressing and enjoying home life.

Don't Talk About Work

Are you always talking about work with your family and friends?

Don't.

If you are always talking about work your mind is always going to be centered on it.

Normal conversations will lead your mind back to that project you have to get done in just a few days.

Constantly complaining about your terrible boss and/or your job will ensure you are always thinking about them.

Instead of work, talk about your hobbies and interests. 

Try to get to know your family and friends on a deeper level, by sharing non-work-related stories and insights.

Don't Think About Work

This one is easier said and done, but if you accomplish the first boundary I mentioned, not thinking about work will become easier

One important thing to remember is that you can't simply will your thoughts about work to go away. You need to replace them with something else. Try reading a book that interests you. 

Find a topic you enjoy learning about and start doing research. I personally like to learn about math, gardening, and Bible-related subjects. Keep searching until you find something that is enjoyable and will take your mental powers away from uncompleted tasks at the job site.

Talking with loved ones can also make this easier. If you live alone, try to schedule a weekly outing or meet up with friends.

Or, perhaps you could visit your elderly parents on the weekends.

Fill your mind with things that bring you joy so that it becomes easier to deal with in tune out your negative experiences from work.

Set aside Time for Work Preparation

There are some necessary preparations you'll need to make for work. Maybe it's making lunch for the next day or finding travel accommodations.

Instead of thinking about these tasks non-stop, set aside an hour or half an hour every day where the only thing you do is prepare for work. 

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time because after your time is up you should be completely finished and ready to put work out of your mind once again.

Physical Barriers

You're off to a great start with setting up your mental barriers. Now it's time to talk about physical barriers.

Don't go to Work on Your Day Off

Is there something that you left at the office? Unless it's something you need to get immediately, wait until your next work day.

It's difficult to not think about work when you are at your work location.

However, if you work at a local theme park that your family likes to visit, this barrier could be difficult or impossible to implement.

Don't Accept Work Calls Unless It's an Emergency

Unless your job description specifically says that you are on call at all hours of the day, don't take calls from work unless it's an absolute emergency.

I recognize that some bosses feel the need to intrude into the personal lives of their employees. You must set a firm boundary in this area. Your off days belong to you, not your employer.

The same goes for work emails. Don't check your work email except during that 1-hour to 30-minute time frame you give yourself every day to prepare for your next shift at work.

No "Homework"

Homework should stop once you graduate.

Even if you are a business owner or high-ranking company employee, you must separate your work and personal life.

Don't be working on business agendas at the dinner table.

Don't stay up late into the night finishing an order, unless it's an emergency.

If you're constantly having work emergencies at home, reevaluate your schedule and/or workload.

If you are accustomed to taking your work home with you and are having difficulty keeping your mind occupied with other things, try playing a board game with your loved ones, listening to your favorite podcast, working on a happy project, or learning a new skill.

I recognize that everyone's work situation is different. Sometimes, due to life situations, difficult employers, and financial problems you won't be able to use all of these barriers. However, you can use a few of them.

It will take time and effort, but you will eventually be able to enjoy your free time instead of constantly worrying about work.

My final word of advice is to inform someone you are close to about your distressing goals. See if they are willing to be a type of accountability partner who will remind you if you accidentally start talking about your job or start on a work project that can wait until later.

If you would like further help, please contact me and set up a coaching session. The session is completely free, the donations are appreciated if you feel led to give one.